


Seconds

by StarTravel



Series: DS9 One Shots [3]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Cultural Differences, Drunken Confessions, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 10:28:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16700767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarTravel/pseuds/StarTravel
Summary: A drunk Julian visits Garak in prison and asks questions he doesn’t want the answers to. And Garak always has answers.





	Seconds

“Doctor, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Garak asks as he watches Julian stumble into the prison, moving towards him on clumsy legs. Julian stops a few inches in front of the barrier, swallowing tightly as he stares at Garak with an emotion he can’t give a name to.

 “I shouldn’t be here,” Julian tells him in a slurred voice, eyes watery and red in the ways Terran eyes sometimes get when they’ve had too much to drink. Julian seems to have gone far past that point, alcohol seeping out of every pore along his skin. Julian comes as close as he can to the invisible wall separating them, gaze surprisingly piercing despite his clearly drunken state. Garak wonders if that’s because of the enhancements.

 “I won’t tell the constable if you won’t,” Garak murmurs as he takes a few step closer to the barrier, grinning a little when Julian lets out a sound that’s as much a laugh as it is a sob. He hasn’t had many visitors over the past few months, and Julian’s face still remains one of the more welcome ones in his life right now. The doctor might have pulled away from him, but he doesn’t hate or fear him. That’s more than Garak can say for most people on Deep Space 9.

 “No, I mean - this is a mistake. I know it’s a mistake.” Julian shakes his head back and forth, hair falling across his face. Apparently in the time Garak’s been in jail, Julian’s stopped using product. He wonders what other minor changes have occurred around the ship, what new facets he’ll have to memorize to stay a step ahead of everyone. He doesn’t have any allies here like he does on Cardassia, the stream of information coming to a dead end.

 Though, maybe the doctor being here means a new well of information is about to burst forth.

 “Doctor? I take it your not here to pick up our discussion on your Wordsworth then?” Garak leans against the wall, letting his voice slide into the familiar teasing patterns and gentle tones he used when he first met Julian all those years ago, during all those lunches when the doctor would so enthusiastically fail to argue anything in the Federation’s favor. Maybe if he can remind Julian of what they had up until a few months ago, Julian will feel more obliged to be his friend once again. The doctor has always been sentimental to a fault.

 It works, Julian’s smile growing softer and a little crooked as he tilts his head to the left. There’s something longing in those hazel eyes of his, more green than anything right now. A wistfulness that matches the sweet sigh that slides from his lips. “I was so in love with you.”

 Garak stiffens at the words, closing his eyes for a few seconds as he tries to catch his bearings. It’s not a complete surprise - he’d have to be a fool to miss Julian’s infatuation with him - but he never thought it would go this far. Garak finally opens his eyes, modulating his smile to be a bit softer, hurt bleeding into his gaze as he leans toward Julian. “Why Doctor, if that was the case, you wouldn’t have abandoned me at the first sign of trouble.”

 “You’d be dead right now if I’d abandoned you at the first sign of trouble.” Julian lets out a dry laugh, reaching his hand up to press it against his mouth as though to muffle the sound of his laughter from his own ears. The he lurches forward, svelte frame pressed up against the barrier so fully Garak swears he can almost feel the uniform brushing against his skin.

 “Doctor, why are you here?” Garak keeps his voice as emotionless as possible, trying to give nothing away. He doesn’t like situations he’s not well-prepared for, and Julian drunkenly confessing his love certainly qualifies.

 “Why did you keep it up?” Julian presses his palm flat against the barrier, his other hand coming to run a long the side of his face anxiously. Garak raises an eye ridge, still lost to what Julian’s game is here. It doesn’t seem like one he can win no matter what answers Garak gives. “Our relationship. I understand why you started it, you wanted an ally in the Federation. But there was no reason for you to keep it up after it became clear I wasn’t of much value there.”

 “Did you ever think I enjoyed your company?” Garak asks as tilts his head to the right a bit, so it’s in line with Julian’s own where it’s pressed up against the barrier. That makes Julian laugh again, sharp and damning as his gaze turns from wistful to infuriated.

 “We both know perfectly well that you didn’t, or at least not as much as you made it seem to everyone else.” Julian grins lazily at that, something that feels dangerous sparking in his eyes as he runs the hand still on the barrier up until it’s lying across the space where his cheek is. Garak swallows a bit, refusing to look away from that gaze begging for so many things Garak was never going to be able to give.

 “I enjoyed your company more than anyone else on the ship.” It’s not a lie and Garak can give Julian that much, though he imagines it wouldn’t equal what Julian’s done for him to most people. But then, his selflessness and sentiment has always been reserved for Cardassia, not drunken Starfleet doctors.

 Julian smirks this time, shaking his head back and forth as he presses his cheeks against the glass. If it weren’t for the barrier, Garak could distract him with honeyed kisses and caressing touches, trade pleasure for pleasure, argue about books and poems and he could come up with a million stories to make Julian’s eyes flash with delight. But it’s still there, keeping them apart and allowing Julian to drunkenly giggle and sob in one breath instead. “A low bar.”

 “Doctor, is there going to be a point somewhere in here?” Garak lays his palm as close as he can to the barrier without getting burned. Julian’s eyes flicker down to his hand, gaze narrowing in onto one scales on his forearm.

 Julian opens and closes his mouth, closing his eyes and pressing his hands together as though in prayer to gods Garak knows he doesn’t believe in. Then Julian opens his eyes, gaze steady even as his words are sloppy and over enunciated. “If a Cardassian who could actually stand you came on this ship and showed interest, how quickly would you forget me?”

 It’s not the question Garak expects or one he’s ever given much thought to, the possibility too far away and too unlikely to bear consideration. Thus the answer he gives Julian is his least favorite, a gut reaction. But Garak supposes the doctor deserves that much.  “In seconds.”

 “That’s all I wanted.” Julian smiles at him in a way that feels like mourning for a moment, swaying against the barrier. Then he’s gone. He does not visit again and Garak does his best to keep his promise and forget.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is basically me trying to work through the fact that while I love all of Julian’s and Garak’s canon interactions and think Julian’s are for Garak in the Wire is amazing and the most romantic episode of a Star Trek maybe, I also have never been able to fully convince myself that Garak loves Julian back. So I wrote this haha.


End file.
